"Priests for Life: Assisting God's people to respond to the evils of abortion and euthanasia"...

...was the heading of a mailing I found in my box yesterday. It was in a white envelope addressed to my Dad and I figured it was some run of the mill Right Wing propaganda.

I was wrong. Very wrong.

Well, I was right in some ways, but it was just scary, a group of writers somewhere--and I can say this because I know I would never trust myself in this--crafting healines such as "Moral Guidance for End of Life Decisions."

The important thing I found in this publication was a DIRECT pipeline to Terri Schiavo's terrible parents, the Schindlers. I wrote them the following email. A note to the dense: this letter is LADEN with sarcasm. I am NOT pro-life.

F.Y.I.

*****

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Schindler:

I just wanted to pass along my condolences regarding the tragic passing of your daughter, Terri. A beautiful woman, I am sure she would feel very flattered to know that her face had been used as the emblem of a national crusade and would have felt that your complete apathy toward her final wish was more than cancelled out by all the ground you've covered in securing every patient's right to live™.

Your grief must be enormous. The news of her passing came very suddenly and I don't think anyone had much time to prepare for it. Though we know not when they actually began, her last few days must have been terrible. Wasting away as she was, she must have been in immense bodily and emotional pain; I am sure she had a great amount of feeling left in her, even after a decade and a half with questionable mental and physical activity levels.

I admire how you have pushed forward in your spiritual quest without any dabbling in earthly worries, save the recent media circus and legal battles with Terri's husband, both of which were obviously justified. After all, every American household with a television in their possession needed to be informed somehow of your daughter's grand struggle within the confines of her room. Furthermore, Michael Schiavo's desire to defend Terri's wish not to be artificially kept alive was superfluous to that of her heavenly father; after all, it's his choice to make, not hers, though you were justified in upholding that choice and pretending their were no others' because it happens to be the same as God's.

In closing, Terri is gone, but she will not be forgotten. Her name will be forever ingrained into American popular culture, along with yours since you extended her fifteen minutes of fame five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred fold. Her memory will never be exploited or become part of any political or religious agenda; all the words "Terri Schiavo" will ever really signify are the fallen Florida beach babe of yesteryear. I am sure she will rest in peace; she was more than a fifteen years late to bed.

Sincerely,

Robert Schrader