In three minutes, I have to decide between a sad lesbian...

...and my sanity.

See, for a multitude of reasons, I can think of NOTHING else I'd enjoy less tonight than watching one of the plus size drag queens galavant across the stage at Chamber's tonight.

Correction, there are a few things (i.e. 15, of the top of my head) I would enjoy less:

(1) Dirty looks from inbred fags at Chamber's
(2) Dirty looks from attractive fags at Chamber's
(3) Dirty looks from the fag hags of inbred fags at Chamber's
(4) Dirty looks from the fag hags ofthe attractive fags at Chamber's
(5) Seeing most of the Tampa gay community at Chamber's
(6) Being denied a drink at Chamber's
(7) Being shot down for New Orleans hooker, Drew, at Chamber's
(8) Being sexually harassed in the men's bathroom at Chamber's
(9) Being sexually harassed in the women's bathroom (by a man) at Chamber's
(10) Seeing an individual shaped like a man but dressed in a Daisy Duke (the original) style cowboy shirt, women's cut off demin shorts, red high heels, and a cowboy hat at Chamber's
(11) Pretending like I enjoy dancing to the crappy music at Chamber's
(12) Paying the $10 late night cover for Chamber's
(13) Enduring the heart attack that will occur between selecting a Honk Kong-sized parking spot and actually getting the thing in there at Chamber's
(14) Finding a boy I think is hot and mistaking everything he does as an indication that he finds me attractive as well at Chamber's
(15) Regretting wasting my night at Chamber's