RIP Shakira :-( :-(

Made you look!

OK, random (trashy) WTF moment of the day:

So I'm like chatting with this guy from online or whatever, and as is common I get him to send me lots of pictures.

Anyway, unlike most guys, he decides NOT to send me any penis pictures.

This is the conversation that transpired:

onlynottobeofuse (8:56:56 PM): Where is your penis? :-*
JaysonUSF82 (8:57:20 PM): Lol, not in those pictures
JaysonUSF82 (8:57:38 PM): i am 5 cut
JaysonUSF82 (8:57:48 PM): kinda thick towards the head

Now, I am not a size queen.

Actually, that's a total lie. I am a TOTAL size queen. Like completely. Like if you can completely hide your erect penis with even a very large hand, don't bring it near me.

And I digress.

But here's the thing: sure, plenty of guys are that small. I've unfortunately encountered a couple of them.

But you don't admit that. Rarely do I ever even encounter guys who says they're SIX inches, much less five. Seven is, in fact, TOTALLY the new six, and five is just, well, let's just say that five inches is one inch shorter than a dollar bill, i.e. like 83 cents, and that can't really buy much.

Certainly not a spot in MY bed!