Sitting here...

...(not so) fresh out of the shower, I feel compelled to actually write in here. I haven't done it in a couple of days, and by a couple of days I mean about a week and that's not adequate.

The first matter of business is that I've decided the main reason I cannot maintain a relationship is because of my split residence. Case in point: Ernie, 21, a new boy that I think I am seeing though we've only seen each other twice, so I'm not sure if he qualifies. But he's sweet. He's caring. He never gets angry or raises his voice. He's possibly more intelligent than I am. He's the cleanest guy I've ever met. He's so amazingly good looking. He dresses well. He's hung like a horse. And he's just wonderful. But I keep fearing commitment of any kind because I know it will have to end, my heart will be broken, and I will return again next summer and he'll probably be in love with someone else. But oh well. If I commit to anyone this summer, it will be him (and I hope to GOD he's not reading this right now because he will think I am some psycho obsessive person).

Next matter of business is my poetry professor giving me a B/C (for those of you not acquainted with UT's grading system, it's like 75-83%) in that class. Now had I earned this grade, I wouldn't be mad; however, there is a problem: I received no less than a B on ANY of my assignments (most of them were A's), I had NEARLY perfect attendance, and I always went above and beyond in workshop, particularly in that I did not often echo others' inane "like/don't like" comments when critiquing someone.

She wrote me the following email in response tomy inquiry about my grade:

"Dear Robert,
Participation is 1/3 of the grade, as clearly stated on the syllabus. Your
absences, extreme lateness, and disturbances in class were such that you
could easily have failed this class.
KVS"

What a cunt.

The final topic for discussion is the fact that I leave for Europe in T-Minus 13 days! I am both excited and nervous about this, and part of it even ties into Ernie, because I don't really...I don't know. I'd never change plans for someone because that's like a golden rule of individual thinking, but if I'd known I was going to meet him, I'd probably only go to Europe for two weeks. And that's the truth.

But I am excited!

OK time to get dressed.

"I don't hold onto the tail of your kite"