Rest in Peace

Some days all of your problems just seem to float away....

That's today for me. I can hardly even type this. I could hardly believe my eyes just now. I can hardly even remember what I was crying about just an hour ago or why I felt compelled to cry even though I never do. I can't believe she's gone.

My friend and former co-worked Angela Arnold died of a brain aneurysm last Monday. I am just finding out about it now, of course, because I no longer associate with anyone from that job and her phone has been mysteriously off for a couple weeks, but...

There are really no words. There are really just no words.

I remember that last profound conversation I had with Angela--in person, I'll add, because we had many on the phone--was about how a son's mother should always be his best friend and vice versa, and that haunts me now as I worry for her little boy. He was her entire life and I'm sure she was his. She breathed every breath for him and I don't know how he will continue without her.

There are just no words.

I wanted to post these lyrics as kind of my prayer for Angela because I'm too upset to write anything tangible:

"gold dust" by Tori Amos

Sights and Sounds
pull me back down
another year

I WAS HERE
I WAS HERE

Whipping past
the reflecting pool
me + you
skipping school

And we make it up
as we go along
We make it up as we
go along

You said --
you raced from Langley --
pulling me underneath
a Cherry Blossom
canopy
-- Do I Have --
Of course I have,
Beneath my raincoat,
I have your photographs.
And the sun on your
Face
I'm freezing that frame

And somewhere Alfie cries
and says "Enjoy his every smile
You can see in the dark
Through the eyes of Laura Mars"
-- How did it go so fast --
you'll say
as we are looking
back
and then we'll
understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands

Sights and Sounds
pull me back down
another year

I WAS HERE
I WAS HERE

Gaslights
Glow in the street
(flickering past)
Twilight held us
in her palm
as we walked along

And we make it up
as we go along
We make it up as we go along

Letting names
Hang in the
air
What color hair
(auburn crimson)
Autumn knowingly
Stared
And the day that
She came
I'm freezing that
Frame
I'm freezing that frame

And somewhere Alfie smiles
and says "Enjoy her every cry
You can see in the dark
Through the eyes
Of Laura Mars"

-- How did it go so fast --
you'll say
as we are looking
back
and then we'll
understand
We held gold dust
in our
hands

in our
hands